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[junosteel]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, JUNO STEEL. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 010.21.140.15 *** juno has joined 010.21.140.15 <juno> this is juno steel. leave a message if you want to talk. <juno> for business inquiries, please schedule an appointment to meet at my office in downtown bavan. <juno> don't contact me if it's not important.

Comments

<makonyan> DURING THE EVENT...

[princeproblems]

hey, is everything ok?

uwu

[junosteel]

that depends on what you mean by ok. you're going to have to elaborate on that

<makonyan> on 10/1

[princeproblems]

There once was a boy who was a Halloween fanatic. He loved dressing up for Halloween, he loved pulling pranks and watching horror movies, and above everything else... he loved candy. One fateful year, while he went trick-or-treating, he visited a house. This house was creepy as hell! It was big, it was old, it smelled like a grandmother and it was owned by a happy, old rich couple. The boy came here thinking that he would be handed out big chocolate bars, because it was a rich person's house but when he knocked on their door... he was handed a bag of that shitty candy that nobody likes! Tootsie rolls, shitty flavoured dum-dums, those weird... peanut things... needless to say, the boy was heartbroken. He was so heartbroken that he died, right there on their porch and now, every Halloween he goes out and finds people to curse. He wants everyone to suffer the same way he did!

Everybody is already suffering from his curse!! Send this to ten people to break the curse, or to avoid getting cursed, or you'll be stuck looking freakier than usual for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!

<juno> i like how all of junos messages so far are from makoto

[junosteel]

makoto, i have no idea what half of these words mean. what the hell is halloween? or trick-or-treating? and why the hell was that kid going to people's houses for candy, isn't it dangerous to accept free food from strangers?

let me know the answers to my questions as soon as possible. also tell me whether or not you've broken this curse. i can't get any more cursed than i am right now.

[Guess who's never heard of spam mail.]

<magnafortuna>

[littlenosies]

Juno.
I need but a moment of your time.

<juno>

[junosteel]

who the hell is this? how did you get this channel?

<magnafortuna> backdated to 10/31

[littlenosies]

I recall we were meant to have a discussion when we were both in the proper frame of mind.
I'd like to make that happen, if you are willing.
Say... Tomorrow afternoon?

<juno>

[junosteel]

[...]

sure. sounds good to me.

where exactly am i supposed to go to meet you, though?

<marco>

[peccatore]

Hi, Juno.
This might sound a little shady, and don't worry, I'll answer any question you might have
But I have a proposal you think you'll like to hear.

The Fourth God and I have built a portal.
(Well, he did most of the work, really, I just helped with the code)
Now, we can't send you home permanently YET
But we'd like to invite you to be one of the first monsters to try it out and visit your home for 72 hours.

(Don't worry, we HAVE been testing it. Just not with monsters yet.)

How about it?

<juno>

[junosteel]

well first, thanks for starting off with "this might sound a little shady", really puts my fears at ease about you throwing me at this portal you got

second, uh
i'm not...gonna have to do anything for the fourth god in order to use it, right?

i mean i trust you but i just wanted to make sure i know what i'm getting into

3/28 random late night text

[restinglichface]

ur rly hot for me not being a furry

[junosteel]

[????]

first of all im not a furry

but thank you?

what...exactly prompted this????

god idk 6/1 or something

[pocketspa]

[One day, Juno will come home to find a window in his house left open.

There's a couple of weird things about this. One, Juno may or may not live on the ground floor- this does not matter. Two, everything looks like, pretty damn pristine. And three, there's weird sounds coming from his supposed-to-be-empty place.

If he makes it into his living room without making too much noise, he'll find Taako, curled up in a pile on his couch. Or well... in the vicinity of his couch. All over his couch. His tail is looped up and over the back and forward a couple of times, with a small pile of it over his lap to where his back is propped up against one of the arms. And on his lap is none other than Trash Bag, curled up in a cozy nest of scales, lazily dozing as Taako strokes her fur back with his claws. It's surprisingly gentle for a gigantic snake and a small furry creature, but he seems content.

Soon enough though, one of Taako's ears will flick Juno's direction, and he'll lazily tilt his head his way to flash him a peace sign.]

Hey.

[junosteel]

[The first thought that comes to Juno's mind when he enters his apartment is, to put it eloquently, "What the shit?" Mostly because he hasn't cleaned his apartment in ages, and this looks like someone picked through all his stuff with a fine tooth comb. Of course, he quickly notices the open window and...well, the sounds. His little raccoon ears twitch and flatten against his head as he approaches the source of the noise, careful to keep quiet as possible. He moves from the hallway to the living room to see...well. You know.

Juno stares at Taako for a moment, glancing between the window and Trash Bag, his wonderful kitty who is now snuggled up right next to the godddamn Naga. From her scaly seat, Trash Bag can be heard purring loudly, kneading her paws against Taako's tail. When she catches sight of Juno, she lets out a loud, squeaky mew. Hi, fuzzy mom!

The wereraccoon just gives Taako a Look.]

Did...Did you seriously break into my apartment to pet my cat?

idk like mid-Mayish

[blap_blap]

ok juno like you're a space person right

i feel like this is a #justspacepeople problem but like

do you know how to swim

how was i supposed to know that this would be an important skill??? this is discrimination

[junosteel]

maybe i do, maybe i don't. i wouldn't be able to teach you how--take whatever you want from that.

[Hint: he doesn't know. Majima might have shown him how to tread water, but that doesn't mean he knows how to swim. He's just too stubborn to admit it.]




wait why were you swimming in the first place if you don't know how to swim??

June 18th, <saturnschild>

[marcato]

[The last time Aunamee spoke to Juno, he didn't sound quite right.

Now he's worse. ]

Hello Juno sweet Juno would you like to fight with me? Would you like to avenge all those poor people?

<juno>

[junosteel]

[juno, softly to himself: what the fuck]

um

is this a joke

<psydekick> Oct 5

[missleadingquestions]

hey nerd how's your cat

<juno> 1/2

[junosteel]

she's better and has more energy to annoy me

so i'd say she's doing pretty good

<kyouken>

[justbeingknife]

Can I borrow your laser pistol

<juno>

[junosteel]

important question before i say yes or no: why do you need my laser pistol

like RIGHT after the fog clears

[missleadingquestions]

i talked to her


if you still wanted to know the answer

[junosteel]

oh, shit, you actually went and did it

what did she say???

[justbeingknife]

[ There's a package outside Juno's office, from Majima. Inside is a catnip mouse, a feather toy, and a warm pair of sweats. ]

I know ya said no birthday parties, so Merry Christmas instead. Hope the cold ain't gettin' to ya.

Slightly pre-christmas

[missleadingquestions]

[Juno may have made a mistake in having let Maya take him home and ever telling her where he lived in the first place, being that now she can show up whenever she wants.

Like on Christmas, with a basket of food in hand, knocking on his door like the landlord or something.]

Mr. Steel!

[She calls, just in case anyone else in this building might know him as such and maybe he doesn't want everyone just calling out Juno all the time.]

I've got something for you! It's Mayaaa. Open up!

[she'll break in to leave him this food if she has to-]

[junosteel]

[At the sound of knocking, Trash Bag's tail shoots up like a flag as she runs towards the door. Juno is partially passed out on the couch, thankfully with his pants on. He's still dressed from the night before, trench coat and all. As Trash Bag yowls and scratches at the door, Juno grumbles and sits up, his fur mussed in odd ways.]

I'm coming, I'm coming....

[He drags himself up, careful to nudge Trash Bag out of the way before he opens the door. His whiskers twitch when he sees Maya standing there.]

Oh, hey, Maya. [He's too sleepy to be grumpy any angry right now. His nose twitches, sniffing out what she brought in the basket. From behind his leg, Trash Bag meows in greeting.]

You brought...food?

[He sounds almost surprised.]

backdated to Xmas

[blap_blap]

[A package shows up at Juno's door-- inside, there's a cute cat-ear winter hat in an approximation of Juno's size and a catnip-filled fish cat toy. There's also a note.]

Happy Mercenary Day! Or Christmas, whatever. If your present doesn't fit, it's your fault. Pet Trash Bag for me!

<PasUnPolicier> Daylight on the 17th

[inseine]

[Doubtless Juno Steel has caught wind of what became of Javert during that doomed party on Valentine's Day. Days of silence stretched by until, on the afternoon of Monday the 17th, a laconic message pops up in Juno's inbox.]

Your status?

<juno>

[junosteel]

[At first, Juno can hardly believe his eyes at the message that appears in his inbox. After reassuring himself and double checking that this is, in fact, Javert, ]

pissed off, losing sleep while chasing the info i managed to get, but otherwise intact and alive. cass got out alright, too.

what happened to you?

[He asks, as if he doesn't know what happened.]

text; backdated to the 13th

[feudalladyshandmaid]

Sorry for disappearing for a few weeks.
I'm back now

[???? That's all???]

[junosteel]

[Juno does a double take when he sees the message enter his inbox.]

where the hell were you?? what happened? i tried contacting you but i didn't get any sort of reply

late but we're fuckin doing this

[blap_blap]

hey juno how long has it been since you adopted trashbag??

[junosteel]

ummmm

last year in april ish

why do you ask

<pace_tua>

[pacetua]

hey, upper boss, i have a question


do people get like, vaccinated here? asking for a friend

<juno>

[junosteel]

first, you can just call me juno. it's okay. i'm not a hardass

second....i assume so? i've never gone to a doctor here

i should uh
probably fix that
but i dont think most doctors treat monsters?

why are you asking this very oddly specific question

Some End of May Night

[ohnose]

[It's a game of skill that ends in one of Juno's possessions missing, a relapsed attempt at renown. All the cards are set to play; Cassandra works at the agency, and it's the perfect excuse for Eugene to scope the place out, to scope out Juno's entire living situation.

It's that advantage precisely that allows him to lift Juno's gun while Juno isn't looking, on a shift and everything. The perfect prize for a raccoon thief, from one trash panda to another, with the added attention of not being caught by Juno or Cassandra.

Yet.

But there's still a few tell-tale raccoon furs where Juno's gun once lay, and they certainly aren't Juno's.]

December 25th, Midnight

[inseine]

[On the night of the 25th, a six-foot-three dark, damp shadow coalesces from the mists in the Graveyard. Tendrils curl around his slicked boots, thickening into a frail web of voile tailing the tattered hems of his coat. His pockets are full, his buttons are fastened all the way to the tip of his chin, his frown is set, and his hat is drawn low over his stony eyes.

It is Javert, and he's there to pay his respects, as he does every week, in the only Graveyard that matters to one so steeped in the Fog as himself.

His first visitation takes little thought, and he winds mechanically through the stone-carved path on autopilot. He's made this pilgrimmage fifty-six times, like clockwork, once per week. Since late July, the name's become quite fresh and unweathered. He slows to a stop, the reverie lifting from his solemn, wan face, and he rocks back on his heels as if awakening to the punch of a fatal blow. The corner of his mouth twitches, and he draws a pair of small items out of his coat, one entwined with the other; his fingers make short, artful work of it, wrapping vine between clasps. When he's finished, he bends down and lays a rosary of black beads and silver upon the headstone with gloved hands, a single bloom of iris flower wrapped and threaded along with the cord.

The vampire bows his head for a long moment, lost to his dark and turgid thoughts. And when he rises to smooth out his lapel, another stone catches his eye, this one much more worn than the last. A crack runs the length of it from top to bottom, hewing the name in half:

JUN | O STEEL

He stiffens. He thinks. He steps awkwardly to one side, like he were acknowledging his lack of invitation to set foot upon such a grave.

He doesn't have any extra flowers to give. No beads that remind him of a time before, no human connections with a werebear that believed in his worth as an investigator before anyone else --mbefore he himself believed in it -- and gave him a taste of satisfying work in Bavan City. A vampire has no blood of his own to spare, either, as a pardon for the religious devotion and crimes he condoned as a part of his fanatical pursuit of the Fog, the very same pursuit that saw him cast out of Juno Steel's offices in disgrace. Besides, that would be a dishonest offer. He won't apologize for their difference. He won't apologize for examining his principles and applying them appropriately, to the fullest they can, as a man-eating monster.

Yet it seems ill-fitting to him, somehow, that he failed to properly respect the death of a creature whom he so deeply respected, despite their differences.

Javert kneels, and he prays silently, as he did for Valjean... until inspiration strikes with a decorative wheeze through too-broad nostrils.

He digs a small nest upon the grave. He wrenches out a special Visitor's Key to La Forteresse, still shiny, untouched, and new.

And he drops the key in the hole, burying it up again, tamping down the dirt and rearranging the grass to make it mimic the look of undisturbed earth.

It isn't much of a tribute, but it's something useful.

He bows in silence, rises to his feet like the swell of an oil slick, opens his coat and dissolves into a puff of mist.

A Blessed Nattensfest to all, indeed.]