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[junosteel]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, JUNO STEEL. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 010.21.140.15 *** juno has joined 010.21.140.15 <juno> this is juno steel. leave a message if you want to talk. <juno> for business inquiries, please schedule an appointment to meet at my office in downtown bavan. <juno> don't contact me if it's not important.

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[junosteel]

[He grumbles slightly, rolling his eyes and turning to open up the cabinets. Trash Bag licks Taako's cheek.]

We'll see how you feel about staying after you experience my awful cooking.

[He's not...that terrible. Years of living--well, surviving on your own for a majority of your life leads one to develop some useful skills, like cooking an edible meal and sewing holes in your pants and learning to take out the trash like a responsible person. Stuff like that.

And surviving doesn't mean serving five-course meals for yourself--it means you learn how to make pre-made space-Velveeta macaroni five different ways.

Juno pulls out a box of (regular) mac and cheese and puts it on the counter.]

You know, the worst part of this world is the fact that there isn't any of the stuff I'm used to eating. [There's a joke about cannibalism in there somewhere.] I mean, I've gotten used to it, but it's still a weird adjustment.

[pocketspa]

[Okay, surviving may not be 5 course meals, but living? Living absolutely is. Get with the program, Juno. Taako laughs as he nuzzles Trash Bag one more time, and just plops her back on the ground with one more pat to the head.]

Man, you really served up the people eating joke on a silver platter there huh.

[He winks, as if somehow that wasn't explicitly obvious, and slithers over to pick up the boxed noodles.]

Also, don't get me wrong, super feel the value of garbage food. Buuuuut you can just say you want me to cook instead of bringing this out and lamenting it's taste. I've taken favors on less.

[Which is a roundabout way of saying Juno would owe him for this. You know. This thing where he broke into his house and is now critiquing every aspect of it while Juno racks up a tab he in no way requested.]

[junosteel]

Shut up.

[Grumble grumble. He shoots Taako a look, raising an eyebrow.]

You can cook?

[It's not derisive, just surprised. Taako might have previously mentioned his cooking skills--maybe even his TV show--but Juno likely (probably) dismissed the details at the time. and also i have horrible memory]

Are you offering out of the kindness of your heart, or do you just want to get a favor out of me?

[pocketspa]

[That's enough to get a genuine laugh from him, putting the box down in favor of putting his hand gently on Juno's face.]

Oh my god, how are you a detective without details, this is beautiful. Now you deffo owe me.

[And there he goes, into cabinets, finding basically every bit of food in the house to cobble into some kind of quick meal. Sucks he won't have prestidigitation to fix any flavorings or spices he lacks, but fuck it, that just makes it more of a challenge.]

Go on, step back, I'll just tell you what to do.

[junosteel]

[Thank God this dumb raccoon face can't flush, because it's almost embarrassing how hot Juno's face became from just that smidge of physicality.]

I'm not on the job right now, cut me some slack.

[That was the lamest excuse he's ever said before--actually, that's a lie. But it's definitely up there. Juno raises his hands and steps away from the counter, rolling his eyes. Trash Bag glances between Juno and Taako, then goes and wanders somewhere else. She has better things to do than stare at two monsters all day who won't give her attention right now.]

Alright, alright. Just a heads up, if you ask me to do anything more than cutting vegetables or boiling water, you're gonna be responsible for the death of your own taste buds.

[pocketspa]

[I'm so sorry to inform you of this Juno, but nagas have heat vision. He knows. He ABSOLUTELY knows. But that's a tease best saved for later once he's gotten some real mileage out of that secret. For now, he just snickers, sliding his hand off to turn and start opening all his cabinets.]

Can you cut stuff or are you gonna take off a finger too? Because if I can't order you around this is gonna be waaaaay less fun and you're already down an eye, my man. Not gonna be responsible for taking those hands like this.

[junosteel]

[ >tfw ]

I'm not that bad at cooking. Worst thing that ever happened when I was cooking was when I once tried to pick up a pan while it was still hot and then dropped it on the ground.

[Hopefully, he won't end up jinxing himself over that. He strolls over to the kitchen cabinet and pulls out a shabby-looking apron.]

Let's get started, then.